Yep – yous read that championship correctly. haha

Yesterday afternoon, I had handling one of iii of Femilift light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation therapy.

How does information technology work?

Femilift works using precision laser engineering science via a probe that goes into the vagina. The laser axle leads to microablation of the vaginal tissue to break downwardly former collagen and stimulate your body to produce healthy, new collagen and elastin. The vaginal tissue also develops new blood vessels that permit for increased lubrication and better vaginal health overall.

What does it treat?

Femilift is a choice for women of all ages. Whether you are postmenopausal or postpartum, Femilift treats the symptoms of declining estrogen levels such every bit dryness, burning, irritation, itching, and urinary leakage.

My experience:

I had to insert 5 ml of lidocaine into my vagina an hr prior to the procedure to help numb the area. Once I arrived, I undressed, feet in the stirrups, and put on a pair of metallic goggles to protect my eyes from the laser. My doctor inserted the probe and made three passes at varying strengths, which took a total of near 15 minutes. It was definitely painful – especially around the vaginal opening, which is where most of the nerve endings are located. I can't have sex (or insert anything vaginally) for two days, and I go back in four weeks for my next handling. I'grand definitely uncomfortable, but I feel really good nigh it, and call up it is worth it. I hope I come across results soon!

How Much?

It'south not covered past insurance, though it absolutely should be. Don't get me started on that. The iii sessions total effectually $2k, and so you lot will need one session per year @ $650 for maintenance. If you can afford information technology, I think this is a bully option for menopausal women – particularly for my estrogen based cancer ladies.

Local ladies – check out my medico. She'due south fucking fabulous.
https://world wide web.evorabydrbeckylynn.com/

I never actually thought I'd be doing vaginal rejuvenation, but here we are. This is where being diagnosed with chest cancer at 33yo and being estrogen deprived for 8 years volition pb you. I've gotta get my blindside on, ykwim? I feel and so lucky that this treatment is an option for me.

I was sitting hither just a few moments ago taking stock of all the ways in which my body has decided to hate me today (and most days, honestly). Exhaustion. Stomach issues. Articulation pain. Tension headache. Allergies. I was starting to feel a scrap down, but then I got a message from a friend stating that she'south well-nigh to ship my CBD oil. This will be my get-go time trying it (regularly anyway – i did vape some with a friend dorsum in April). I've heard a lot of promising things and I am hopeful that this volition assist me with at to the lowest degree some of these ailments. So similar the post title says: fingers crossed!

Having to manage all of these fucking medical bug that have alien needs.

My psoriatic arthritis has become more than of a problem recently. For example, I woke up today around 3:30 am because my easily and wrists were hurting like crazy. My current meds only aren't working as well as I'd like, but the meds that do work have a cancer risk, so I haven't been able to take them since my diagnosis.

I had my ovaries removed to reduce the risk of my cancer returning, which puts me at risk for osteoporosis. I need to exercise loftier impact exercises to help protect my bones. Unfortunately, doing high affect exercise is bad for my already fucked up joints.

I just feel like I tin't fucking win. I'1000 constantly having to make a difficult selection when it comes to my health/my body.

but my Otezla starter pack will be delivered on Wednesday. I take fought then difficult to get this medicine (literally for years now…since breast cancer remission) and it is finally on its way to me. Holy fuck. Of course, I had to pay an ugly $300 copay, merely at to the lowest degree it'south not $2000, right? Haha. Now that this is finally happening, I'm starting to feel a chip nervous. Chances are I'thou going to be quite ill for a few weeks every bit I arrange to the side effects. Every bit long as I'm adapted by the hymeneals…that's all I intendance about. Please send skillful vibes that these meds will work for me. I was walking effectually all weekend feeling like a xc-year-old because of how bad my joints have gotten. If this doesn't work, I don't have any other options for at least a year.

United Healthcare approved my psoriatic arthritis meds for coverage, and I'chiliad so relieved/happy/excited/nervous…lots of emotions. I'chiliad also slightly frustrated because these meds tin can only exist administered through a special mail gild pharmacy which has been a scrap of a nightmare to deal with. But notwithstanding…progress. I should be able to start within the next couple of weeks. I'thou nervous because I've read that the first few weeks are really crude with the various side furnishings. I'thou hopeful that this will provide me with some relief though.

*squeeeeeeeeeee*

This is a actually big deal for us. I honestly don't know who is happier: me or D. I had sort of resigned myself to the fact that I would be forced to alive with this untreated condition for the residuum of my life.  Now there is hope over again. I really, really hope this works for me.

Had my Shakeology this morning. I tried vanilla for the first time. I'm not sure yet if I like information technology more than than the chocolate. More time is needed. I had planned to get up early and get a workout in since I'm busy tonight, just it didn't happen because I had a bad nighttime of sleep. More on that later. Just…final nighttime D and I went for a late night run and then I came back and did Upper Fix. This is the last week of my current accountability grouping, but I definitely want to join another i. I call up some other coach friend is about to practise a 21 day fix group, and 21 mean solar day fix is my fucking jam, so…

I'g going to end weighing myself for a while, I retrieve. The numbers are all over the identify and it's making me crazy. On Monday, the scale said I had gained seven pounds overnight. That was the day afterwards a seriously strenuous eight mile hike, so I know that had a lot to practise with it, merely my motivation and cocky esteem still took a huge striking. So fuck the scale. What actually matters is that I feel adept, like better than I have in a really long time. I'm going to proceed on keeping on, exercise my affair, and ignore the scale. Well at least until we replace the batteries, which are near dead. 😂

Dave says he can come across and feel a difference in my body, but, most importantly, he sees a tremendous modify in my mood. That alone is worth all the hard work.

If y'all're on a fettle journey of your own and demand a pep talk/accountability pal and then hit me up. Available for fitness dates 💜

I've been drinking this shit every day for a week. It tastes terrible but I tin can experience the divergence it makes. This morning time'due south milk shake is chocolate shakeo with water, a splash of skim milk, and a handful of frozen strawberries and bananas. My bus puts spinach leaves and peanut butter in hers, simply I'm not that brave withal. Anyway, it'south  actually actually filling and does seem to curb my cravings. I have a box of vanilla on the fashion. I'thousand hoping I'll like information technology more.

that these little changes I've been making to better my health/happiness are starting to piece of work.

I received my biopsy results today and it wasn't good, only I expected that when I got a call from the doctor's office this morning time telling me they needed to motility upwardly my follow upwardly appointment from three weeks from now to right fucking at present.

Anyway…I may have cervical cancer, though what's more likely is that I have highly worrisome precancerous cells that must exist removed asap. So that'due south happening on Friday morning. They'll exist taking a good chunk of my neck as well.

I'm trying not to freak out, because what'southward the betoken? Only…I'thou tired. So fucking tired. Similar why does my body hate me then fucking much?

Whatever.

I went to the dentist today because the left side of my face (ear, jaw, and teeth) hurts. I can barely open my mouth on certain days. Afterwards 10-rays and an exam, the dentist declared that I really do simply have the worst sinus infection ever. Apparently my sinus crenel is quite depression and butts up against the nerves in my teeth.

Fuuuuuuuck me.

So I'm back on antibiotics and steroids. Oh joy. I was actually hoping I needed a root canal. How fucked is that?

I've been lying around all day like a lazy piece of shit, only at some point this evening I need to rally and finish upward the Christmas shopping. Because Christmas is this weekend…like how did that happen? Wasn't it simply October?

In other news, I found out this week that my ex is telling our child to go along secrets from me; 1 of which is that D isn't Jackson'southward boss and then Jackson doesn't have to listen to him. I'm going to fuck my ex fashion the fuck up, but I'one thousand going to wait to do it until afterwards Christmas. I don't take fourth dimension for his bullshit right at present, and Jackson and I accept talked it out extensively. Nosotros seem to exist on the same folio.

I get that the ex is still all butt injure or whatsoever over the divorce, but he needs to get a fucking grip. He's acting like an malaise-y teen when he is actually a 37 year old father. He needs to get his shit together and stop putting our kid in the centre of things. Jackson was similar, "I hate beingness in the eye of this. I feel guilty and similar I'm disappointing my dad because I care virtually Dave."

I'm going to have to cut a bitch clearly.

Another affair Jackson said that broke my heart is that he very much wants D and I to be married, just that he's scared we volition break up and he will lose his family again. *sigh* I reassured him that he doesn't demand to be worried about that (for multiple reasons) but he's an anxious little male child and I hurt for him. I beloved him so much. His happiness ways everything to me.

Parenting is hard, yo.

  • Welcome to my 1300th post. Crazy.
  • My oncologist says I don't have os mets. He says it's well-nigh probable post-mastectomy hurting syndrome. Basically, it's nervus damage acquired from all the surgeries. In that location's zilch to exist done except take more hurting meds. Manifestly it'due south quite common.
  • I'm relieved plain, but I'm also like wtf. I mean information technology'south always something, right? I accept nevertheless another chronic pain condition? Fucking seriously?
  • My body clearly hates me.
  • Oh and the insurance state of affairs is and then fucked. I don't even know where to start with information technology. Honestly…I simply can't today.
  • I hardly slept last night due to feet, then I am way out of information technology today. I can barely keep my eyes open. It's going to exist a long day.
  • On a completely unrelated note: **Girls spoiler alert** I really enjoyed concluding night's episode where Adam and Mimi Rose ended upward hanging out with each others exes. I kept imagining myself and Dave in that situation, which was humorous. I think somebody would become cutting.
  • I'm ready for my weekly dejeuner date with the bf. I need a hug, and maybe a beer.

My stomach hurts similar all the time and it'south freaking me out. I'g convinced information technology's cancer related, like mets or something. I went to urgent care in January over this same pain and they ran a bunch of tests, did a scan, and told me no testify of cancer. Just bear witness of ovarian cysts. Information technology'due south most likely a gallbladder trouble, or maybe an ulcer, just once yous take had cancer, every anguish or pain becomes OMFG my cancer is dorsum. Information technology's fucking exhausting, honestly.

On top of that, this move has kicked my ass. I'k making good progress on setting everything upwards, but information technology's slow going, and I'm tired. I'm too not sleeping well here considering my anxiety is flaring. I'm planning on popping a xanax tonight because I'chiliad over information technology.

So I guess I need to make an date with the new doctor my insurance decided to assign as my primary when they changed my policy to salvage themselves money. Everything requires a fucking referral at present, and they care for me like a slice of shit because they consider my insurance to be Medicaid, despite the fact that I pay $600 per calendar month for it. I know I should be grateful to have coverage at all, only actually the ACA just took abroad the right to discriminate against pre-existing atmospheric condition and was like: here's some super expensive insurance that almost no decent doctor will take. Good luck.

Fuckers.